He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
