ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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