i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
