I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
