weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
we should paint friendship bongs
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