I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
