dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
