we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
