How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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