so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
