omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
