Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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