I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
it was like eating out sand paper
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
