some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
