everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Mom said you looked used
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
