so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
