Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
