I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
