ugly people sure do ruin things
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize