so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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