If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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