yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
