he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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