I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
