i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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