i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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