Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
