STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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