Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
