I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
