they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
