they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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