on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Randomize
