woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize