I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
