Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize