Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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