We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
