Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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