I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
