i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
