small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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