I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
