We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
