It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
