I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize