Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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