I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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