well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
