hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she peed on how many people?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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