If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
