lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
