dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize