is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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