hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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