he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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