You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
