try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
