He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
