Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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