is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
