No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
