Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
