Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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