You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
