My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
