Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
