look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
