carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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