what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
