I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
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