In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
