Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
