Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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