Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
