look no pants
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
