Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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