Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize